Race Of Arms: Beans in a jar

In general, I have to work in a pandemic. I am running a blog at a precise time where my silence has more exceptional added costs to discussions on how far the world wide communications are going to know how it feels.

How about a dead (body)? So weird, yes.

I tried to test Google search for college-knowledge. My controlled experiment has to swap with “I feel like I am supposed to be dead”.

What depression never knows for a well-structured Reddit peer support. The post has long-drawn-out catchy associations. So, meet the “I feel like I’m supposed to already be dead.”

Going to start this off by saying i have been suicidal for a long time, since I first learned the word. Some days are better than others. I either want to die, or REALLY want to die.

Anyways now that I’m an adult I feel even more lost in life, im failing out of college due to my mental health, I don’t find joy in anything, and i feel like shit all the time.

I feel like I have no purpose, no reason to be here

I feel like I was destined to be a statistic on teen suicide and see myself off at a young age

but I didn’t (too scared, got hospitalized, closely watched, feeling of guilt) and now im just here, on extra time, dead but also alive, like a failed timeline or a final destination movie.

I dont know im posting this but i just really needed to write it out to make myself feel better i guess

Posted by u/cowardl_y 1 year ago

I hope your getting therapy. If not, seek it out, college usually has options available. If your on meds, tell them they aren’t working. Alternatives may be better.

Hardest part of reaching an ideal state is wanting to change. I would use more logic to try an convince yourself to seek methods to change.

Also you have a lot to experience. Life gets dull when you stay in one spot and meet people with no diversity in culture.

Lastly college although an experience and money hog. Isn’t more important than your mental state. Plenty of people have failed multiple times and some never succeeded. Your world is bigger than your view.

Also a human can have 100 great things happen to them in a day but 1 bad thing feels like the end of the world to them. We tend to overlook the good and favor the bad to the max.

Also some people enjoy solitude more than social activities. That id why people leave cities and get a plot of land in the wilderness and love a hermet life style enjoying the simple things in life.

Fear can prevent you from finding a better lifestyle change. Pride can prevent you from getting help.

Sometimes i feel like a robot….void….then i made a green bean garden just because. An that for some reason makes things better for me right now. I may lose all my beans to animals or bugs but im really hoping to fry up some green beans.

Shadowx180 1 point · 1 year ago